So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
