Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
