we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
