low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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