Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
