OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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