I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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