My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
