In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
