Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
