you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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