So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
