It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
