Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
