yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
