I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
