if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
