i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
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omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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