i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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