Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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