So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
