Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
