Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
