Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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