hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize