my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
a search helicopter?!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
