What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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