just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
