He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
