Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
