69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
