There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
