But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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