im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
