2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
