Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
