party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
