I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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