Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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