Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
