is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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