i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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