Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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