There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
