Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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