I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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