Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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