i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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