k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
