I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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