Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
