omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
