Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
