I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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