Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
