life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
she looked like the before picture.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
