I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
