I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She's the barista slut.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
