she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
