I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize