I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
