nut hugger
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
