lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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