wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
