I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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