Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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