im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
